A little bit of Nowhere

Ever notice how it's the little things in life that amuse us so much? More to the point, ever notice how it's the silly little idiocies in life that amuse us more than anything else? Well, this is not as much ''the little blog that could'' as it is ''the blog that enjoys going up the down escalator in your local mall.'' Will it have anything of real importance? No, probably not. But enjoy the ride never the less!

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Tuesday, January 25, 2005
 
Sometimes These Things Just Speak For Themselves...

In a word, or in this case two: spam scams. They're not just for Nigerian bankers anymore, as this latest heartfelt missive from the UK directly to my Inbox proves. Grab your bag of popcorn, sit back, and try not to spit kernels out at the screen as you bear witness to some of the funniest idiocies and horrible grammar I've seen in a while:

Good day


I am Tony Fred Williams i am 14 years old i live in London
(UK) before my father die, now i live with my mother in
Scotland. my father is from London (UK) and my mother is
from Scotland. my late father Mr. Fred Williams was an
engineer in London (UK) before he die in a car accident
last year July 9th 2003. he left $50M (Fifty Million
Dollars) in his account before he die. The $50M is in
(First union national bank-na London Uk) i have been trying
to collect the money from (first union national bank-na
london Uk) but the Md Ceo told me to go and look for some
body that is old enough to help me collect the money.

I could have told my mother to assist me to collect the
$50M for me but my mother and father has devourse before my
father die and my father told me to not have anything to do

with my mother i dont even want her to know because what my
father told me before he die was not a lie, now that i stay
with my mother in Scottland she don?t even have time for me

all she do is to take hard drugs and to bring men to the
house to sleep with and she also hite me all the time. i
don?t want to have anything to do with her.I just want some
body that is old enough and honest to help me collect the
$50m from the bank as i am to young to take care of $50M.
Please i need your help if you can assist me to collect the
$50M from the bank i will give you 30% and take 70%. I have
the affidavite of claims that makes me the indeed bonified
next of kin to my late father Mr. Fred Williams which i
have show it to the bank . he told me to look for some body
that is old enough so that he can send the $50m to the
person in 24 hours. If you can help me i will give you the
user name and pass word of my father account and the web
site of the bank so you can access the $50million on net
before you will contact the MD CEO of First Union national
bank.if you can help me i will contact the MD ceo and tell
him that i have find some one who want to help me collect
the $50M. and i will give you is contact so that you can
contact him to enable him send the $50M to your provided
account in 24 hours after you have acceess the $50m on the
First union national bank web site.Please help me. I will
be waiting for your urgent reply so that i can give you the
contact of the bank and send you the last statement of
account of my late father and i will also send you my
picture and my birth certificate. Please on your next email
to me so reply me on my private
email:(tonyfred23@faithmail.com)



Best Regards

Tony Fred Williams.

I'm not sure what amuses me more. The blatant disregard for legal and testamental prodcures, or how everything is written in the present tense. (ie, my father die last year, you snicker as you read this.) I think it's spam like this that creates cynics in us all. Though admittedly, there has been the remote temptation to write something along the lines of:

TO: Tony Fred Williams
FROM: Chaos, H. lordship
SUBJECT: You're a tit.

Or else that's just me ranting. Don't pay it any attention.

Today's Lesson: (which is more for Chance than anyone) it is counterproductive to suddenly be standing right where my foot is about to land as I step out of the shower. You will get stepped on, and I will probably break my neck, and then who's going to feed you...once you've feasted on my corpse and all that fun Poe-filled stuff?